{"id":824,"date":"2010-05-18T18:24:16","date_gmt":"2010-05-18T11:24:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/2010\/05\/18\/mari-samakan-posisi-ya-dan-tidak\/"},"modified":"2026-09-16T16:26:25","modified_gmt":"2026-09-16T09:26:25","slug":"mari-samakan-posisi-ya-dan-tidak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/2010\/05\/18\/mari-samakan-posisi-ya-dan-tidak\/","title":{"rendered":"Let's Put Yes and No on Equal Footing"},"content":{"rendered":"AI<\/span>L0<\/span><\/a>\n\n\n

In October 2009, in a small mosque in Marburg, Germany, I learned something about myself, and about my culture, that has stayed with me ever since.<\/p>\n

Experience Abroad: Germany<\/a><\/h3>\n

At the time I was taking a German-language preparation course before starting my studies at Leipzig University. It happened to coincide with the month of Ramadan, and my fellow Indonesian students and I often broke our fast together at that small mosque. One night, the mosque caretakers asked for help washing dishes after the iftar. I was actually tired and wanted to rest, but the word \u201cno\u201d never came out of my mouth. I nodded and washed dishes late into the night.<\/p>\n

That simple incident forced me to ask: why is it so hard for me, and perhaps for many Indonesians, to simply say \u201cno\u201d?<\/p>\n

Yes and No, Unequal<\/h3>\n

In our culture, the word \u201cyes\u201d is often seen as the polite answer, while \u201cno\u201d is considered rude or self-important. As a result, we learn to avoid \u201cno\u201d, replacing it with ambiguous answers, uncertain promises, or willingness that is really given under pressure. Yet an honest \u201cno\u201d, delivered well, is worth far more than a \u201cyes\u201d that is actually a polite lie.<\/p>\n

This imbalance is not merely a matter of manners. It seeps into more serious territory: transparency and accountability in public life.<\/p>\n

When the Inability to Say \u201cNo\u201d Becomes a Governance Problem<\/h3>\n

Picture a negotiation forum between local government and an investor in a fictional district, let's call it Kecamatan Lhok-Lam. Local officials, reluctant to refuse openly, choose to give an answer that sounds positive but is actually empty. The investor goes home with false optimism. Residents wait for a realization that never comes. When it finally comes out that the answer was \u201cno\u201d all along, trust has already been damaged, and everyone loses.<\/p>\n

This pattern repeats throughout our bureaucracy: a decision that is really already \u201cno\u201d gets wrapped up as \u201cwill be considered\u201d, \u201cin process\u201d, or \u201cinsya Allah\u201d. This lack of clarity creates room for what I call the \u201cInvisible Men\u201d culture, people who avoid visibility and accountability for their own decisions, because they never truly state a position.<\/p>\n

A Lesson from Marburg<\/h3>\n

That night of washing dishes in Marburg was simple, but it changed how I see things. Saying \u201cno\u201d is not a form of rudeness; it is a form of honesty that respects other people's time, resources, and trust. A forced \u201cyes\u201d, on the other hand, only postpones disappointment to a worse day.<\/p>\n

If we want to build more transparent governance, in government, in companies, and in everyday life, perhaps the first step is this simple: put \u201cyes\u201d and \u201cno\u201d on equal footing. Give both the same room to be spoken honestly, without guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n

AI<\/span>L0<\/span><\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kisah dari sebuah masjid kecil di Marburg, Jerman: mengapa kita sulit berkata \u201ctidak\u201d, dan kaitannya dengan tata kelola yang transparan.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":11678755,"featured_media":847,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[790304242],"tags":[790549915,790549920,790549918,790549917,790549921],"class_list":["post-824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kehidupan-hobi-pengalaman-internasional","tag-jerman","tag-marburg","tag-pengalaman-luar-negeri","tag-refleksi-personal","tag-tata-kelola"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pLHtk-di","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mulyagusdin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/marburg-jerman.jpg?fit=1280%2C800&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11678755"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=824"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1796,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824\/revisions\/1796"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/847"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mulyagusdin.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}